Seeking Approval

While we were still weak, at the right moment, Christ died for ungodly people. It isn’t often that someone will die for a righteous person, though maybe someone might dare to die for a good person.  But God shows his love for us, because while we were still sinners Christ died for us.

--Romans 5:6-8

Why is it that we constantly are seeking approval from others?  Why do we change the way that we act because of others’ opinions?

The truth is that we want to be liked and loved and work to make others like and love us.  We have assumptions about the type of person we should be in order to fit in.  This spills over into our work, into our families, into our friendship, and even into our relationship with God.  We have a certain set of assumptions about what is appropriate and the way in which things should be done.  We know what clothes to wear, we understand the order for getting things done, and we realize that people have been doing things this way for years.

What if we were driven by something else?  What if we accepted the fact that we are loved and liked as we are.  Christ did not wait until we had completed a specific list of chores before dying for us.  God did not wait until all people were listening to send Jesus.  The Holy Spirit does not wait until we are perfect to work in our lives.  God moves and works in us where we are.  All that we must do is find a way to capture God’s vision and let it guide us.

It seems too simple, but it’s true.  Once we have captured God’s vision and understand God’s call, we can begin to work in ways that are fulfilling and powerful.  We were not created to respond to crisis after crisis.  We are not made to check off multiple items from a check list. We weren’t even created to work hard enough and accomplish enough so that we get a pat on the back when this life is through.  We are called to join Jesus in being a servant to others.  To help them embrace their God-given call in life to serve others in the name of Christ.  We are to draw others into active participation and build bridges based on trust.  We are to value and stay connected with the community.  In his “Deep Change Field Guide,” Robert Quinn calls this “the script of collective fulfillment.”  (DCFG 79).  Only 18% of leaders choose to lead in this way.  And yet it leads to high satisfaction and adaptability. 

Reading through his materials made me realize that he has discovered the Jesus model for discipleship.  We are empowered by a vision beyond ourselves and gain satisfaction that does not rely on other people.  Instead we rest secure in our relationship with Jesus Christ and experience joy in inviting others to do the same.  Everything else flows from this.  Nothing else really matters.  May we begin to see ourselves as God does and shed any assumptions that do not ring true in Scripture and in

Grace and Peace,