Both Sure and Uncertain

 

“When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me”

            --John Wesley

For those who are not natives to the United Methodist system, this time of year can seem like a strange and foreign land.  Many clergy throughout the world, myself included, have made announcements that they are moving to another parish, another ministry, or (perhaps) to a stage beyond ministry.  Over the last several decades, the United Methodist Church has moved clergy less frequently than in previous years.  “Every three years” used to be the rule of thumb.  Now, it is not unusual to hear of pastors staying 4, 5, 6 or more years at one appointment (that’s what we call the assignment of a pastor to a church, churches, or ministry).  I am blessed to be completing my 5^th year at my current appointment.

Early in the Methodist Movement, this was not the case.  John Wesley appointed ‘preachers’ at a rapid-fire pace.  In the Conference Minutes of 1746, John Wesley indicated where ‘preachers’ or ‘assistants’ (meaning assistant to Wesley) would be appointed for the next quarter.¹  That’s a possible move every 3 months!  They were called ‘preachers’ because preaching was their primary function, not ‘pastoring.’ I don’t know how they did it.

Today, every time we have a move both churches and pastors alike are caught in a frenzy of activity and emotion.  There is the grief of ministry left unfinished as well as events that mark the “lasts” of a pastor in a parish.  Anxiety builds within the congregation as people wonder, “What will the next ‘preacher’ be like? How will they lead? How old will they be? Will we be a good match together in ministry?” Events begin to clog the calendar as people try to say their ‘goodbyes’ and ‘welcomes’ within days of each other.  Excitement fills the air in the hopes of new change, even as people hope that things don’t change too much (I mean, we have ALWAYS done it this way.)

Clergy are not immune to the tumult, either.  I have found myself experiencing a range of emotions. Most times I am filled with excitement for the promise of a ministry yet to come: a new community, new families, new stories, and new visions of God’s call into mission and ministry.  I know that God is leading me forward into another chapter of my ministry and marvel at the goodness of God’s grace. Other times, I get overwhelmed with my sense of loss and grief: after five years, I have grown to love Main Street UMC deeply.  I have baptized, confirmed, married, and buried so many beautiful children of God here. We have wrestled through a pandemic together. In the midst of all these emotions, I am trying to prepare the church for transition to new pastoral leadership, to prepare my family for the transition to a new home, to give myself ample healthy times for ‘goodbyes,’ and to ready myself for the next step into the future.

I quoted Wesley at the beginning of this blog for a reason.  As I begin my 30^th year in ministry in the United Methodist Church, I realize that my perspective has grown and changed through the years. As Wesley said another time:

“Every one, though born of God in an instant, yet undoubtedly grows by slow degrees”²

When I finished my first appointment as a part-time, student local pastor, I understood the appointment process and knew that it was the best system in the world.  Moving and transition was just part of life that brought little disruption other than a few boxes.  With every move since then, things have changed.  Being a parent increases the importance of stability in life and in location. My roots grow deeper and faster in the communities that I serve.   I have prayed with people as they wrestled with God – as they wonder why they struggle and suffer. I have also held their hands as they breathed their last – as they surrender their lives into the hands of their Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer.  Each day my love grows for the people that I serve, while the pain of anticipated separation sharpens.

In the middle of the rushing wind that whistles all around, I finally understand what Wesley meant by “at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me.”  I know for certain that I am called by God to serve as a pastor.  God has affirmed and confirmed my call many times.  I know that Christ showed his love for me by giving his life for me, and that it is this love that compels me to teach and to share with others the unconditional, resurrected love that seeks to embrace us all.  I know that I am invited to trust that God who started a good work within this congregation will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).  I know that I have nothing to fear for I have been called by name and God is with me (Isaiah 43:1-5). I am caught in the paradox of being certain of so much and yet sure of so little.  I suppose that is why faith is

“the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see”³

I admit that every day there seems to be more things that I simply do not know and cannot understand.  This time of year, I believe that others in the United Methodist system must feel this way as well.  The Good News, the best news, comes from one final quote from John Wesley:

            “The best of it is, God is with us.”

Grace and Peace,

¹http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/john-wesley-the-methodist/chapter-xiii-in-conference-with- the-preachers/

²http://huhns.org/2009/06/30/top-12-john-wesley-quotes/

³ Hebrews 11:1, Common English Bible

What Do You Mean "Change?"

Why do you see the splinter that’s in your brother’s or sister’s eye, but don’t notice the log in your own eye? How can you say to your brother or sister, ‘Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ when there’s a log in your eye? You deceive yourself! First take the log out of your eye, and then you’ll see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye. 

--Matthew 7:3-5

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer 1: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Answer 2: Change?????

As a pastor, it is a constant part of my role in preaching, teaching, and leadership to point people toward change.  In fact, the church stands up to the world and invites it to a better way of life by putting Christ first – if the world would only listen.

Here is the hard truth: we want others to do what we are unwilling to do ourselves.  When we can point back 20, 30, 60+ years to the way that we have done things, do we think this compels others to examine their bad habits?  When the world cannot see the difference that our church members make in the community (much less the church as a whole in the surrounding area) why would they listen to our call to be different.

Before we begin to ask others to change, we are called to be changed ourselves.  This does not mean that we change the paint on the walls or (God forbid) change the color of the carpet.  Those are actually superficial changes.  Instead, we are called to change the nature of who we are and the basis upon which we make our decisions. 

 

What if the church was transformed into the Body of Christ that consistently carried our acts of justice, mercy, and humility?  What if we stood firm with those who cannot stand for themselves?  What if our love for each other was so strong and so apparent that the whole world looked amazed and said, “See how they love each other!”

We want to change the world for Christ and, at times, we feel that there is nothing that we can do to change ‘them.’ Our assumption points to our mistake.  Christ invites us to change. He invites us to be transformed.  He calls us to go and teach and make disciples – every one of us.  As we change and let the light of Christ shine through us, others will see our work and give glory to God (Matthew 5:16).

Grace and Peace,