“When I was young I was sure of everything; in a few years, having been mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I was before; at present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has revealed to me”--John Wesley
For those who are not natives to the United Methodist
system, this time of year can seem like a strange and foreign land. Many clergy throughout the world, myself included, have made
announcements that they are moving to another
parish, another ministry, or (perhaps) to a stage beyond ministry. Over the last several decades, the United
Methodist Church has moved clergy less frequently than in previous years. “Every three years” used to be the rule of
thumb. Now, it is not unusual to hear of
pastors staying 4, 5, 6 or more years at one appointment (that’s what we call
the assignment of a pastor to a church, churches, or ministry). I am blessed to be completing my 5th
year at my current appointment.
Early in the Methodist Movement, this was not the case. John Wesley appointed ‘preachers’ at a
rapid-fire pace. In the Conference
Minutes of 1746, John Wesley indicated where ‘preachers’ or ‘assistants’
(meaning assistant to Wesley) would be appointed for the next quarter.1 That’s a possible move every 3 months! They were called ‘preachers’ because
preaching was their primary function, not ‘pastoring.’ I don’t know how they
did it.
Today, every time we have a move both churches and pastors
alike are caught in a frenzy of activity and emotion. There is the grief of ministry left
unfinished as well as events that mark the “lasts” of a pastor in a parish.
Anxiety builds within the congregation as people wonder, “What will the next
‘preacher’ be like? How will they lead? How old will they be? Will we be a good
match together in ministry?” Events begin to clog the calendar as people try to
say their ‘goodbyes’ and ‘welcomes’ within days of each other. Excitement fills the air in the hopes of new
change, even as people hope that things don’t change too much (I mean, we have
ALWAYS done it this way.)
Clergy are not immune to the tumult, either. I have found myself experiencing a range of
emotions. Most times I am filled with excitement for the promise of a ministry
yet to come: a new community, new families, new stories, and new visions of
God’s call into mission and ministry. I
know that God is leading me forward into another chapter of my ministry and
marvel at the goodness of God’s grace. Other times, I get overwhelmed with my
sense of loss and grief: after five years, I have grown to love Main Street UMC deeply. I have baptized, confirmed, married, and buried so many beautiful
children of God here. We have wrestled through a pandemic together. In the midst of all these emotions, I am trying to prepare the
church for transition to new pastoral leadership, to prepare my family for
the transition to a new home, to give myself ample healthy times for
‘goodbyes,’ and to ready myself for the next step into the future.
I quoted Wesley at the beginning of this blog for a
reason. As I begin my 30th
year in ministry in the United Methodist Church, I realize that my perspective has grown and
changed through the years. As Wesley said another time:
“Every one, though born of God in an instant, yet undoubtedly grows by slow degrees”2
When I finished my first appointment as a part-time, student
local pastor, I understood the appointment process and knew that it was the
best system in the world. Moving and
transition was just part of life that brought little disruption other than a
few boxes. With every move since then,
things have changed. Being a parent
increases the importance of stability in life and in location. My roots grow
deeper and faster in the communities that I serve. I have
prayed with people as they wrestled with God – as they wonder why they struggle and
suffer. I have also held their hands as they breathed their last – as they surrender
their lives into the hands of their Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer. Each day my love grows for the people
that I serve, while the pain of anticipated separation sharpens.
In the middle of the rushing wind that whistles all around,
I finally understand what Wesley meant by “at present, I am hardly sure of anything but
what God has revealed to me.” I
know for certain that I am called by God to serve as a pastor. God has affirmed and confirmed my call many
times. I know that Christ showed his
love for me by giving his life for me, and that it is this love that compels me
to teach and to share with others the unconditional, resurrected love that
seeks to embrace us all. I know that I
am invited to trust that God who started a good work within this congregation
will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). I know that I have nothing to fear for I have
been called by name and God is with me (Isaiah 43:1-5). I am caught in the
paradox of being certain of so much and yet sure of so little. I suppose that is why faith is
“the reality of what we hope for, the proof of what we don’t see”3
I admit that every day there seems to be more things that I
simply do not know and cannot understand.
This time of year, I believe that others in the United Methodist system
must feel this way as well. The Good
News, the best news, comes from one final quote from John Wesley:
“The best of it is, God is with us.”
Grace and Peace,
1http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/john-wesley-the-methodist/chapter-xiii-in-conference-with-
the-preachers/
2http://huhns.org/2009/06/30/top-12-john-wesley-quotes/
3 Hebrews 11:1, Common English Bible
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